Mothering on Mother's Day
/
Mother’s Day is a day shaped for sweet celebration—but it also exposes: who we’ve lost, who we long for, who we have never known. If you've ever spent a Mother’s Day service weeping or avoided it altogether, you know what I mean. (Precious brother or sister, if that's you, I hope this and this can serve you in some small way. May God bless you and keep you.)
And yet, even for the woman who is not currently experiencing any acute loss or longing, it can be an unexpectedly difficult day. This article is for that woman—the one whose circumstances seem ideal on paper. The one whose house and hands are full, who is hungry to be acknowledged and appreciated.
To this woman, I want to offer two pieces of counsel:
Look out.
Get dressed.
Look Out
Look out, Mama. We’re prone to enter into this day hoping—perhaps expecting—to be seen and to be served, in honorable recognition of all the unseen service we offer our families. But what if the day ends, and it wasn't much different from any other day? Motherhood is relentless, after all, and your family may not easily see ways to give you rest from your important work.
Look out. There is an Enemy who desires you to be angered by the seemed injustices that reveal themselves within the normal moments of a day like Mother's Day. There is one who desires to create a rift in your home by luring you towards list-making, self-pity, and an attitude of prideful “I have to do everything.”
Sister, look out!
One way to look out for this Enemy is to look in. Examine your heart for expectations and ask God to search you, to see if any of these expectations grieve him (Psalm 139:24). You may need to die to some of these expectations, while others you can humbly entrust to your family. "I would really like to go out to lunch with everyone on Mother's Day!” or “I was thinking I could slip out for an hour to get a manicure.” Oh, how it honors the limited insight of your family when you share your hopes rather than expecting family members to be like God, who is the only one who sees the longings of your heart.
Another way to look out for this Enemy is to look up—to the One who sees us and serves us through the gospel.
When you are overwhelmed by all the unseen work you do, look up. Perhaps your family will in fact see you well on Mother’s Day, but what about the day after? They don't have the sight you long for. Sister, look up. The God whom Hagar profoundly named “The God Who Sees” (Genesis 16) sees you (Psalm 139). He sees you at every diaper change, in every carpool line, packing every lunch. That longing in your heart to be seen was placed there by the God Who Sees, so that you would realize He alone can satisfy your hungry soul.
When you are overwhelmed by all the ways you serve, look up. The One who has called you to serve your family has served you in unfathomable ways—by sending His Son to die a brutal death in your place. By raising Him up so that you might have life. By sending His Spirit so that you might be led at every moment. By providing for your needs and delighting you through His people and His Word. Remembering God’s tender service for His children can empower you to persevere in serving your children.
Look out, Sister. The Enemy desires to focus your eyes on all the ways those around you fail to see and serve you back rather than beholding the unfathomable ways God Himself has seen and served you. Look out for this Enemy by looking in and looking up—and then, Sister, get dressed. Even (especially?) the beautiful days like Mother’s Day require battle, and you will need to be properly clothed.
Get Dressed
Sister, dress well this Mother's Day:
Fasten the belt of truth around your waist. In ancient days, a belt would be used to secure flowing garments so soldiers could run without hindrance. What threatens to hinder your stride on Mother’s Day? Ask God and your trusted community for discernment to see hindrances and for truth to address them so they cannot trip you up.
Put on the breastplate of righteousness, which will protect your tender heart. Remember that Christ has secured your righteousness before God through his work on the cross—and you, by the power of the Holy Spirit, can walk with Him on the path of righteousness by cultivating a heart that is quick to repent of sin and seeks to obey.
As shoes for your feet, put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace, so that you may be quick to serve others and quick to make peace where there is chaos and disunity. Oh, how this will serve those you may encounter who are carrying special burdens on this day!
Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one. As you see the fiery attacks approach you, with flames like “You are not seen!” “You have to serve everyone!” “You are not appreciated!” you can extinguish them with the shield that cries in faith, "Lord I believe! Help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).
Place the helmet of salvation firmly on your head, so that the good news of the gospel is wrapped around you like armor, guarding your mind against anti-gospel attack.
And finally, take up the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God—a fighting word, a word that offers certain truth to uncertain places. What fighting word or concept from the Bible can you carry with you to slice through the Enemy's attack?
And then sister, don't miss this:
After all these pieces of armor are listed in Ephesians 6, the armored one is told to pray at all times and to keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints. This is a vital word for Mother's Day, because many carry burdens that are much heavier than yours and heavier than mine — dear brothers and sisters who have lost their moms, who have lost children, who have longed for children, who have longed to have a good relationships with their mom. Oh, how beautiful it would be if we would see them and serve them! If we would keep alert for them! If we would pray fervently for them! Oh, how the body of Christ needs to be mothered in this very way.
What if Mother’s Day is not a day to rest from our mothering, but to lean in and mother a hurting Christ follower with tenderness and compassion? Many of us know that Mom is the person you lean on when all is falling apart, the person who sees you at your lowest and serves you there. God designed her to bear his image in just that way, and when she does it, we catch a glimpse of what God is like.
Dear Sister, this Mother’s Day, look up and get dressed. Your family needs you.
