There Are Monsters in my House: Dealing with the Sins, Needs, and Desires that Plague Us
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For me, things like this (*motions around at the world*) expose all my monsters: sins, needs, desires. They obviously aren’t all bad monsters—some of them just need me to brush their hair—but they’re all quarantined with me in my house and will run amuck if I keep ignoring them.
It reminds me a bit of my first two years of teaching, when I was armed with theories for classroom management that I couldn’t figure out how to implement in real life, when my classroom was a place where monsters thrived and humans had tension headaches. (I suppose I might as well clarify that students aren’t necessarily monsters, but, well, we all have monster tendencies—and that’s how teachers know the importance of classroom management. The books tried to teach us, but the monsters actually taught us.)
My point is that lately, I’ve become convinced my heart needs as much classroom management as an actual classroom. But I also know I’m in a better position than I was as a first-time teacher—because my Teacher insists on going beyond the textbook. God has revealed himself and the mechanics of my heart in his Word, I am hidden in Christ and redeemed by his blood, and the Holy Spirit lives in me and leads me. Truly, the monsters that plague my heart cannot compare to the gifts of God and the wisdom he generously offers to those who ask and believe. These immovable truths inform my posture for management—a posture of strength, given by God alone.
However, this God-given strength, though certain, is not something that passively manages monsters, not something automated that overrides the viruses of the heart. God-given strength requires I use what he’s given, over and over again. Spiritual muscles are not for display in a tank top but for movement. The question I’ve been asking myself as the monsters pinch and poke and raid the pantry is—how? How do I specifically wrangle the sins, needs, and desires that bring chaos into my heart and home?
My past teaching career has some insight to offer here, because I learned students need three things for there to be peace, and I suspect monsters are the same way:
They need you to know their name
They need some procedures to follow
They need to know where to sit
Sins: Things That Offend God
Name Them (Fire the Marketing Team)
Sins are monsters that lose a little power when we call them by name: Covetousness, Pride, Sexual Immorality. (Need to learn some names? Galatians 5:18-21, Ephesians 5:3-6, and Colossians 3:5-10 are helpful lists.) I have this tendency to call sin monsters by a cute nickname, hoping a bit of rebranding will help me sidestep their evil and my complicity. But when Slander is in my house and my inner marketing team calls him “Venting” instead, he grows. He’s fed when he sees I don’t really understand what he’s capable of. Brothers and sisters, our sins are monsters that must be called by their right name because naming acknowledges they are sins and therefore an affront to a Holy God.
Implement the Procedure (An Enemy Is in the Building)
When we have named the beast and recognized his true danger, we have a better understanding of what procedures are necessary for peace. Because sin monsters would like nothing more than to set fire to what is precious, our response to them must be fierce. We must acknowledge and grieve the existence of the sin in our hearts, we must allow the existing impact of the sin to humble us and provoke us to repent and draw near to God, and we must firmly decide that its further influence be resisted.
Tell Them Where to Sit (Escort them Outside)
Finally, we tell the monster where to sit: outside. He is not allowed to take residence here. This house is made for Someone Else. (By the way, as you slam the door behind him, this is a great opportunity to practically consider ongoing resistance. Brainstorm steps you can take to keep the door locked and ask trusted people to come alongside you to make sure that guy stays outside.)
Some passages that can inform a biblical view of dealing with sin: Genesis 3, Genesis 39, Psalm 51, Galatians 5:18-21, Ephesians 5:3-6
Needs: Things We Must Have to Function and Thrive
Name Them (Named Things Are Harder to Ignore)
Needs are monsters that require a different handling, though we still need to name them. If we don’t notice them and call them what they are, we tempt ourselves to ignore them. This is something hustle culture celebrates, but having needs is an unavoidable and God-designed part of being human. When we ignore our God-given needs and convince ourselves we are needless, we have two big problems:
We try to position ourselves as needless when only God is needless. This opens us up to the garden variety of sin—wanting to be like God. As Pastor Pete Hughes puts it, Eve wasn’t content to be God’s reflection—she wanted to be his rival. When we posture ourselves as needless, we aren’t content to reflect God as he made us to reflect him and depend on his as he designed us to depend on him—instead, we want to be him. Needs are an ever-present reminder that we are not God, and friend, that is good news you do not want to miss out on.
We miss out the beautiful procedure God has designed to provide for our needs.
Implement the Procedure (Call a Family Meeting)
When a need is named, it needs to be shared, submitted, and then continuously entrusted. We first share the need with God and submit it to him, acknowledging his position as our ultimate Provider, remembering that in The Sermon on the Mount, Jesus offered a reprieve from the anxiety of unmet needs, reminding us, “Your Father knows what you need.” When we tell our Father what we need (more as an act of humility than an act of information) and submit to him as our Provider, we are interacting with him as trusting children do.
However, throughout scripture and our personal experiences, we have evidence that suggests God’s preferred method of provision is through people. In creation, in the forming of the church, and in a hundred other places, we see that he designed our humanity and our faith to be a communal experience. Because of this, we honor God’s design for his family when we “call a family meeting,” so to speak, and intentionally share our needs with those we trust in our community and allow them to bear our burdens with us. The world preaches self-sufficiency, but a Christ-follower who humbly and wisely communicates needs will find a better treasure—family.
Finally, we have to continuously entrust our needs to the Lord. Jesus cautions against anxiety in The Sermon on the Mount because he knows how prone it is to creep up when we see an unmet need. The initial buzz of anxiety is an alarm clock that can alert us to remember what’s true:
“If God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:25-33).
Tell Them Where to Sit (Not On Your Chest)
Needs are monsters we’re often tempted to send packing, but for us to honor the Lord and practice trusting him, these monsters they must stay in the house. However, we can’t allow them to sit on our chests, blocking our airways and fueling our anxiety, so we place them on a shelf like an empty jar, trusting God will fill them. Their presence reminds us that we are not God and that we need God. Their presence compels us to humble ourselves and invite our family to truly be family.
Brothers and sisters, your Father knows what you need and has designed you to have these needs. May you experience more of him in the needy places, and may he strengthen you to continuously entrust your needs to him.
Passages that can inform a biblical view of dealing with needs: Genesis 2, Exodus 17:11-13, Matthew 5-7, Acts 2:42-47, and 1 Corinthians 12:12-31.
(Side note: Matthew 5-7 is particularly interesting in regard to this topic of needs, because Jesus says, “Your Father knows what you need" after talking about giving to the needy, fasting—which is denying oneself—and storing up treasures not on earth but in heaven. It’s a fascinating flow of topics.)
Desires: Things We Want Really Bad
Name Them (Watch Out, They’re Slippery)
Desires are slippery monsters that seem to shape-shift. It’s difficult to name a desire because it can look like a need, and it can turn into a sin with the flip of a switch. How in the world are we supposed to manage a monster that changes outfits and form all the time? If you have a maybe-desire that’s run rampant in your house and heart, talk to the Lord and your trusted community about it, and I suspect the conversations will result in a name tag. After all, Psalm 139 teaches us that God discerns our thoughts and is acquainted with all our ways. Though the slippery thing may be evading you, he’s already got it perfectly processed. When you name the thing, you’ll be better able to spot it as it runs around the house and you’ll be better able to discern its antics.
Implement the Procedure (Make the Ask)
When a desire has been named, there’s a beautiful thing we are always, always allowed to do: Ask for it. My kids are unashamed to ask me things, and I want them to feel free to do that, even if the answer is “no.” Asking requires vulnerability and dependency, and this posture has tremendous value. It also gives us a chance to acknowledge Who we are asking—a limitless and loving God who knows more than we do and can therefore grant and withhold according to what is best. That’s why our request must be wrapped up in submission, the humble acknowledgement that God is God and that God is good. After a desire is submissively requested, we must guard it. Because, as James says, a desire can lure and entice someone to sin. We see this right at the beginning when Eve’s desire to be wise lured her to sin. Desiring wisdom isn’t a sin at all—in fact, God’s word encourages us to ask for it (James 1:5). Eve’s example can be a great reminder to us of the value of asking and the importance of guarding.
Tell Them Where to Sit (Keep Asking)
Desires require discernment. Should they stay? Should they go? Only God can lead (and your community can help!). One thing we know is desires require restraint and monitoring so that they don’t grow bigger and morph into sin. This may seem like it requires unceasing tending, and maybe in some seasons that’s true. (May God strengthen you!) But God has a way of transforming our desires to match his, and that is something certainly worth asking for.
Passages that can inform a biblical view of dealing with desires: Genesis 3, Psalm 63, Psalm 119, Matthew 5-7, James
No matter the monsters—sins, needs, and desires—they do not have to run wild in our hearts, scribbling Sharpie on the walls and getting crumbs in the bed. We are not alone in our plight, and we are not ill-equipped. After all, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3, emphasis added). Thank you, Jesus!
